We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
