I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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