Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
