Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
