Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"

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(417): View more from Missouri

Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.

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(315): View more from New York

someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this

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(785): View more from Kansas

Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk

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(678): View more from Georgia

I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat

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(919): View more from North Carolina

TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.

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(518): View more from New York

I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.

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