I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize