i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
