god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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