What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
