My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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