I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
