theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
