If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
