would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
