we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
