I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so explain again why im purple
no
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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