1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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