She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize