im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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