thus making me awesome and them whores
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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