so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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