I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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