Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
