I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize