Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
well, you know. whores of a feather.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
