I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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