This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
