yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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