no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
