So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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