Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
