i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We got so high we made milksteak
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
