Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
