So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
