Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
