i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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