we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Be still, my beating vagina.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
