I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
