honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
