So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
