Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
