omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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