PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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