my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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