So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
