so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
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