alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
