At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
40s are totally the cure
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
