I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
