I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
