Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
