pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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