that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
