with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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