You're completely useless in the revolution.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Your dad touched me again.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
