Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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