after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
and she was petting her beer can
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
