Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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