Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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