currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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