if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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