I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
