Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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