suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
