where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
